mein tipp für weitere texte: erfinde was xD wenn er ein aufregendes erlebnis haben will, dann schildere ihm eins. niemand kann beweisen, dass es nicht so war (solange sich das geschilderte in einem normalen rahmen bewegt versteht sich ^.~)
"My holidays are easy to describe (das andere war jetzt nicht direkt falsch, hört sich aber so besser an nach meiner Meinung ^^') with one word: boring. I spent my whole time at home, only in the afternoon I was [note: "went" macht sich besser] skiing or something like that.” In my opinion this [auf was bezieht sich "this"?] was very short. This is the reason (why) [note: "this is why" oder "this is the reason" aber nicht "this is the reason why"] I wrote “my style”, so that the story is the “amazing” part of the story (hier zwei mal story hört sich nicht so gut an). The title was, by the way, sarcasm too. No other teacher ever had had (any) problems with that, you're the first one. So don't say this was “nonsense”. [note: würde ich höflicher schreiben xD "so please do not declare it as nonsense, as you might know, nonsense is a quite unpolite word for a texts description or comment] (Besides this is no constructive critique.) Exceptionally [note: hast du vieleicht "especially" gemeint?] when you say we can use our creativity. It was not my intention [note: vllt. auch "I was not intending" aber nur optional] to make “fun of the task” in a bad way [note: scheint überflüssig. würde, wenn die formulierung "in an uneasy way" bevorzugen, aber geschmackssache^^], it was just fun to write [optional note: "I found it quite amusing and put..."] for me and I put my effort in it [note: "and I put much effort into it"]. It's a little bit hard to hear that “I was in hurry to finish my text”. [optional note: "I find it very frustrating to hear that the story, which i put all my english knowledge and much time into, seems to you to be written in a hurry just because i was beeing sarcastic"] And the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is an Englis©h [note: "english" wird klein geschrieben, denn es ist hier ein adjektiv und kein, wie sagt man? ach, egal, es bezieht sich nicht auf die nationalität der worte sondern auf deren sprache xD] word that exists, you can google it if you want. [optional note: if you do not believe me, feel free to google it]
tut mir leid, konnte mich nciht zurückhalten, den text zu korrigieren xD übernimm nur, was du möchtest :>
(14.03.2012, 17:10)Liod schrieb: "My holidays are easy to discribe (das andere war jetzt nicht direkt falsch, hört sich aber so besser an nach meiner Meinung ^^') with one word: boring. I spent my whole time at home, only in the afternoon I was skiing or something like that.” In my opinion this was very short. This is the reason (why) I wrote “my style”, so that the story is the “amazing” part of the story (hier zwei mal story hört sich nicht so gut an). The title was, by the way, sarcasm too. No other teacher ever had had (any) problems with that, you're the first one. So don't say this was “nonsense”. (Besides this is no constructive critique.) Exceptionally when you say we can use our creativity. It was not my intention to make “fun of the task” in a bad way, it was just fun to write for me and I put my effort in it. It's a little bit hard to hear that “I was in hurry to finish my text”. And the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is an Englis(c)h word that exists, you can google it if you want.wenn liod erlaubt... xD
"My holidays are easy to describe (das andere war jetzt nicht direkt falsch, hört sich aber so besser an nach meiner Meinung ^^') with one word: boring. I spent my whole time at home, only in the afternoon I was [note: "went" macht sich besser] skiing or something like that.” In my opinion this [auf was bezieht sich "this"?] was very short. This is the reason (why) [note: "this is why" oder "this is the reason" aber nicht "this is the reason why"] I wrote “my style”, so that the story is the “amazing” part of the story (hier zwei mal story hört sich nicht so gut an). The title was, by the way, sarcasm too. No other teacher ever had had (any) problems with that, you're the first one. So don't say this was “nonsense”. [note: würde ich höflicher schreiben xD "so please do not declare it as nonsense, as you might know, nonsense is a quite unpolite word for a texts description or comment] (Besides this is no constructive critique.) Exceptionally [note: hast du vieleicht "especially" gemeint?] when you say we can use our creativity. It was not my intention [note: vllt. auch "I was not intending" aber nur optional] to make “fun of the task” in a bad way [note: scheint überflüssig. würde, wenn die formulierung "in an uneasy way" bevorzugen, aber geschmackssache^^], it was just fun to write [optional note: "I found it quite amusing and put..."] for me and I put my effort in it [note: "and I put much effort into it"]. It's a little bit hard to hear that “I was in hurry to finish my text”. [optional note: "I find it very frustrating to hear that the story, which i put all my english knowledge and much time into, seems to you to be written in a hurry just because i was beeing sarcastic"] And the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is an Englis©h [note: "english" wird klein geschrieben, denn es ist hier ein adjektiv und kein, wie sagt man? ach, egal, es bezieht sich nicht auf die nationalität der worte sondern auf deren sprache xD] word that exists, you can google it if you want. [optional note: if you do not believe me, feel free to google it]
tut mir leid, konnte mich nciht zurückhalten, den text zu korrigieren xD übernimm nur, was du möchtest :>
![[Bild: crocosig2.png]](http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/7000/crocosig2.png)
